The stay/go debate is running close to a dead heat—about 3 to 4, if you count the personal e-mails I've received. I kind of expected this. It's actually a bit of a relief, the notion that this dilemma isn't just in my head.
If I'm to draw any conclusion at all from your advice, it's that, whatever I do, it had better be for the right reasons. If I do leave, it should be because I'm ready to take the plunge and live the life of the starving artist in New York City: the odd hours, the relentless self-promotion, the uncertainty. Not because I have a crappy job, or because I can't speak the language here.
And if I stay, it should be because I love it here, because I haven't run out of new things to do, cool places to go or strange foods to try; and because while I can't really get into the film industry here, I can still do animation, video and/or screenwriting. But it shouldn't be because I'm afraid of failing in another city.
At the moment, I have the luxury of procrastination. My parents are visiting me in two weeks, and most of my mental energy is earmarked for tidying my apartment and planning tours. So I'm not going to be making any snap decisions.
I have a lot to think about this month, and a lot of research to do. But I'll figure this out.
When I do, you'll know.
San Francisco just doesn't have the opportunities for filmmakers that New York and L.A. do. I learned that the hard way. It's a decent place for people who want to make political documentaries with grant money, but that's about it.
Don't believe me? Count at the number of film-related posts that show up per day on S.F. Craigs' List...
http://www.craigslist.org/tfr/
...compared to N.Y. Craig's List:
http://newyork.craigslist.org/tfr/
No argument about my lack of connections, resources and money. But I gotta start somewhere.
Mike, it's okay for you not to actually like San Francisco or the average person you're likely to encounter there.
I don't understand why it's even in your list of choices. It's expensive and it seems to hold almost nothing for you. Cut that scene from the script.
I've pointed this out before, but let me put it in writing.
You want to be a Canadian filmmaker?
Seems to me there's only one country in the world to be doing that.
And did I mention all the funding agencies here have made a recent swing towards films with commercial potential? As in they want to back movies that people might actually sit through, not more "retarded kids dying of cancer" documentaries.
I know many people less talented than you making movies here regularly. The kind of movies you yourself might be interested in making. Why aren't you here showing them up?
Thanks, Shane. For those of you wondering why I don't just leave here tomorrow and start filmmaking, I'll clarify what I've been getting at in the last several entries: My life is a grim march towards an empty future, and I'm beginning to doubt whether I'll ever feel pleasure or happiness again. Until I can find a way to change that, I gain nothing by moving somewhere else.
But.
I can comfortably make the following promise, right here, in public: Once I decide to leave Japan and return to North America, whenever that happens to be, I'll be playing for keeps. I'll take whatever job, in whatever city, which is likeliest to lead to a directing career. Period.
Hi Mike,
It has been too long since I've visited your blog - sorry. Anyway, I enjoyed catching up with your experience in Japan. I admire the fact that, unlike me, you stuck with your living and working situations there in Japan even though it sounds like it has been a struggle for you. I sometimes wonder if I would have felt differently about living and working in Japan if I had given it more of a chance. Looking back (most often through rose colored glasses) at my experience in Japan & with NOVA, it feels like a nice memory. But when I seriously remind myself about the experience, I realize that I was quite unhappy and unhealthy there. By the end of my three-month experience in Japan, it didn’t really matter to me that I was leaving behind a job, some new friends, and excellent cultural and sightseeing opportunities. It was a relief to return to my familiar and unglamorous life of software testing, old friendships, family and sunny and spacious California. When I decided to go to Japan, I thought that I would enjoy teaching English and experiencing Japan. But for the most part, I didn’t have much fun working for NOVA. And although I found the cultural experiences interesting – I didn’t always find them enjoyable. One thing that I did enjoy was sightseeing, but found it difficult to get around, time consuming, and cost prohibitive. Also, aside from Japanese food, the culinary experience there sucks.
Anyway, I’m not really trying to persuade your decision about weather or not to make a move to NYC (or wherever), but just relating my experience so that it might help you gain some perspective in relation to your situation.
Happy belated B-Day,
Chuck
Thanks for the insights, Chuck. It's nice to hear from you--sounds like you're doing well.
For the curious, Chuck and I arrived at Nova on the same day (the same flight, in fact). As you might gather from his posting above, he was quite unhappy with the Nova experience, and his departure was chronicled here:
So you want to make movies?. Can't you get involved in movie making in many locations? I don't think that new york is necessarily the best place to do that. I would think that you mostly need to get better connected in the movie industry, have access to more film resources, have the time to invest in it and have enough income to live and pay for move making expenses. I would think that you can possibly do those things in NY, LA or SF. I think you should go wherever you can get a foot in the industry door.
Bright idea #32987021: Perhaps you could become a location scout in Japan for some american movie maker.